


Hold Back the River

by a1_kitkat



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alien Technology, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Feelings, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealous Michael, Kyle Valenti Appreciation Week, Kyle Valenti Saves The Day, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Past Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Protective Kyle, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Secret Crush, Sexual Assault, Shock, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: Pre-season 2...While packing away all alien looking items of Noah’s, Michael tests his new powers on Kyle. He learns some startling information and becomes jealous, possessive. An alien device heightens his feelings and Michael loses control, hurting Alex in the process.Kyle is there to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Alex Manes/Kyle Valenti, Past Alex Manes/Michael Guerin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45
Collections: Kyle & Alex





	Hold Back the River

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGERING CONTENT AHEAD!!!
> 
> BE WARNED!!!
> 
> READ AT OWN RISK!!!
> 
> This fic is about an alien device controlling Michael and as a result, Michael assaults Alex, sexually. There is non-consensual sexual activity between Michael and Alex!!!  
> YOU DON’T LIKE THAT? DONT READ IT!!!
> 
> Also...  
> minor instance of supposed suicide attempt (its an accident but could be read that way so again POSSIBLE TRIGGERING TOPIC)
> 
> And...  
> This fic relies heavily on the plot device where Isobel can only influence someone into doing something they’d *want* to do. For the purpose of this story, Michael has that same ability.
> 
> This was written for Kyle Valenti Appreciation Week 2019 but I was too scared to post it because of the content. Am posting it now while I have the guts to do it!!!  
> *******************

“Are you sure that this is a good idea?”

Kyle sounded nervous as he watched Michael and Alex carrying the boxes into the bunker. His eyes darted from one to the other as he moved to take the topmost box from Alex’s pile and placed it upon the corner of the table.

“We don’t know what any of this stuff is.” Alex reminded him, “and this is the safest place for it.”

“What was wrong with where it was?”

“In Isobel’s attic?” Michael finally spoke up “this is alien tech; it can’t be left just lying around.”

“Well, what's wrong with your bunker?” Kyle snapped. “Why do you have to use ours?”

“Ours?” Michael repeated, eyes narrowing.

“Mine and Alex’s.”

“What? Now it’s your secret club house?”

”Well, it is _our_ Family Legacy...”

”Right, the place where your family and his planned to annihilate mine?”

“Guys?” Alex finally interrupted their banter. “Guys! Just shut up, okay?”

Michael and Kyle exchanged a bitter look before Michael placed his boxes on the floor then turned and headed back outside. Kyle peered into the box Alex had just put down.

“Do you always have to bicker with him?” Alex asked.

“No... Not always... But he started it.” Kyle shot back as he reached into the box. “How is this even alien? It’s a damn paper weight.”

“All of these belonged to Noah; Isobel wanted them gone so I offered to sort through it for her… For all we know there’s _nothing_ alien here.”

“Speak for yourself,” Michael corrected as he stepped back inside with more boxes. “There’s more in the truck, Valenti.”

Holding back a remark, Kyle turned and left the bunker. There was only a handful of boxes remaining but he grabbed two and started back inside. He reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Michael and Alex standing very close together, like they were whispering about something and he made a noise to let them know he was back. Alex immediately moved away from Michael.

“There’s more in the truck, Guerin,” Kyle snapped at him.

Michael headed for the door, making a point of brushing against Alex as he went. Kyle dropped the boxes he was carrying with a loud crash and looked at his friend almost expectantly.

“Kyle? Did you break something?”

Alex hurried over to survey the damage but the box was mostly full of law books and papers, nothing remotely breakable.

“What was that?” Kyle asked.

“What was what?” Alex frowned.

“You and Guerin, talking, whispering... All secretive.”

“Jealous, Valenti?” Michael quipped from the doorway.

“What were you whispering about?” Kyle demanded to know.

“I was telling Alex to let me know if he found any alien sex toys in these boxes.”

Kyle made a face of disapproval.

“Guerin!” Alex hissed, his face turning a deep shade of pink in embarrassment. “He was talking about his powers.”

“Showing off, huh?”

“Kyle,” Alex softened his tone. “We were talking about Isobel’s ability to mind manipulate someone.”

“Like she did to you,” Michael added “that day at the hospital?”

“But she can only influence someone to do something they already want to do,” Alex explained. “Again, like with you injecting her with the serum.”

“It went against every fiber of my being but I wanted to hurt her, like she hurt Rosa… or so we thought she had,” Kyle confessed.

“No one blames you for that, Kyle,” Alex assured him.

Kyle moved the boxes aside and sat down, eyes scanning both Michael and Alex in a suspicious manner.

“So, why were you two talking about Isobel’s powers?” He pressed.

Michael opened one of the boxes and began to rummage inside, to give an air of casualness.

“I was thinking of trying it out myself...” he admitted.

“You what?” Kyle asked, jaw dropping.

“Since Noah… We’ve all started to embrace our powers more, we’re capable of _more_ . I saw Isobel throw a vase with her mind; she’s developing _my_ powers which means I could be getting hers and I wanted to, you know, experiment…?”

“On _Alex_?” 

Kyle was horrified at the very suggestion and he glared at Michael in absolute disgust.

“On _someone,_ ” Alex interrupted. He was getting used to them bickering like he wasn’t even in the room. In a way it was sweet how they both fought over him but he didn’t need anyone defending him; he was more than capable of fighting for himself. “And I sorta volunteered.”

“You what?” Kyle gasped. “No, Alex… just… No!”

“You’re not his keeper, Valenti,” Michael snapped.

“Use me!” Kyle said without even thinking.

“What?” It was Alex’s turn to gasp while Michael just frowned and said “You?”

“It makes sense,” Kyle insisted, heart racing. “I mean, I’ll be harder to manipulate.”

“Hey!” Alex argued almost indignantly.

“You know what I mean,” he said as he looked into Alex’s eyes. “There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for _him.”_

An awkwardness filled the air as Kyle’s statement lingered but Alex didn’t deny it. Kyle’s heart was still thumping in his chest as he tried not to think about how much power he was giving Michael but he wouldn’t let Alex put himself in such a position. There was no telling what Michael would make Alex do for him, _to_ him.

“Come on, let’s clear some room,” Kyle took the initiative. “We’ll do it right now.”

He and Alex reached for the same box and subsequently dropped it. Items flew in all directions and they hastened to pick them all up. Alex scooped up what looked like a smooth round ball that felt like it was vibrating. He yelped in surprise feeling as it was burning him and he hastily tossed it aside. Michael reached for the sphere and it immediately stopped at his touch.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Kyle stated somewhat nervously.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Alex asked him, looking into his eyes with concern.

Kyle didn’t hesitate to reach for Alex’s hand, squeeze it reassuringly.

“No,” he confessed, “but I don’t want you doing it.”

“Kyle-”

“Please, Alex? Just let me do this.”

Alex sighed and shrugged his shoulders. They could both be stubborn as heck so why fight about it? Kyle was right, they just needed to get it over with. He stood to the side, eyes drifting between Kyle and Michael.

Michael climbed up on the table and closed his eyes, centering himself, and Alex couldn’t help smiling at how perfectly quiet and still he sat. Eyes closed, taking slow deep breaths, Alex finally turned to look at Kyle. There was no telling how long this would take but Michael gasped, opened his eyes and struggled to regain his breath.

“Did it work?” Alex asked.

But Michael was watching Kyle; watched as the doctor purposely walked towards him then raised his fist and threw a punch which Michael swiftly dodged.

“Huh,” Michael said with a nod of approval.

“You influenced Kyle to _hit_ you?” Alex frowned.

“Well, it had to be something he _wanted_ to do,” Michael reasoned. “Try again?”

Kyle looked partially confused but he nodded just the same and they both watched as Michael closed his eyes then began ferreting about inside Kyle’s mind. The reaction was the same as Michael’s eyes flew open and he gasped for breath while staring at Kyle.

They all waited but nothing happened.

“Did it _not_ work?” Alex asked, confused.

“What did you do?” Kyle looked at Michael’s frown.

“Clearly something you don’t want to do” Michael’s eyes shifted to Alex. “Call me surprised.”

“Guerin,” Alex hissed. “What did you try to make him do?”

“You should be flattered, Alex,” Michael said to him “the good doctor here doesn’t want to hit _you!_ ”

Kyle’s face turned red right down to his neck but in truth, Alex _was_ flattered that his high school bully didn’t want to use him as a punching bag anymore. He started to reach for him but stopped when he saw the way Michael was looking at him.

The small round ball began to vibrate again and started to roll across the table. Michael scooped it up and looked at it but the device had already stopped vibrating. He frowned but kept it in his hand as he looked at Kyle again.

“Okay, let’s try again,” Michael said with a smirk, his fingers rolling the tiny sphere around his palm.

Kyle narrowed his eyes at Michael.

“Two attempts is hardly a solid attempt” Michael added. “Unless you’d prefer to sit this one out and let Alex-”

“No!” Kyle insisted “I won’t quit that easily.”

Alex admired Kyle’s dedication to the experiment but he would wait until after Michael left to say as much. There was a crazy amount of tension already in the room and he didn’t want to add to it. 

Michael’s eyes were closed a long time; both Kyle and Alex watched him very closely, waiting. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at Kyle, the sphere in his hand began to glow but none of them noticed.

Kyle turned his back on Michael, strode across the room and right into Alex’s personal space. Alex eyed him cautiously for but a second before Kyle grasped the front of his shirt and kissed him. The moment their lips touched, Kyle came to his senses but Alex was already pushing him away.

“Dude, what the hell?” Alex gasped; he stared at Kyle who was staring right back with his eyes open as wide as flying saucers.

“Alex, I… I…” he gaped. His fingers were still clutched to Alex’s shirt, he didn’t have the capacity to let him go though so Alex reached up and pried the shirt free of his fingers.

“Kyle?” Alex just frowned.

Kyle’s eyes filled with hot tears and he turned to glare at Michael but the alien wasn’t gloating, he looked utterly furious.

“I’m sorry,” Kyle mumbled “I… I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and tripped over one of the discarded boxes. Alex moved forward to help him but Kyle brushed away his assistance and straightened himself. Tears were still stinging his eyes but Kyle shot an angry look at Michael then hurried from the bunker.

Alex watched in complete surprise as Kyle fled. His lips were tingling at the taste of Kyle’s kiss and he subconsciously licked his lips. He turned his gaze to Michael who was still glaring at the spot Kyle had been standing.

“Guess now we know why he didn’t want to hit you,” Michael’s tone was harsher than Alex was used to.

“Guerin,” Alex snapped. “You did that on purpose.”

“Can’t make anyone do something they don’t _want_ to do,” he reminded him. “Clearly that closeted dick has some skeletons in the closet with him.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at Michael. _What_ had gotten into him? 

“Screw you, Guerin,” Alex muttered. “I’m gonna go talk to him.”

Alex started towards the stairs but Michael leapt from the table and blocked his path. They stared into each other’s determined eyes, both glaring though neither really intending to.

“Guerin, move,” Alex hissed.

“You’re gonna go after _him_?” Michael spat.

“So what if I am?”

“He’s a big boy, he can look after himself.”

“ _Guerin_ , what you did was-”

“Was what? Humiliating? For him or for you? Are you actually _flattered_ that he likes you like that? That the guy who once smashed your head against a locker has a crush on you now?”

Alex swallowed back his first response.

“What is _wrong_ with you, Guerin?” Alex hissed. “Get out of my way so I can talk to my friend.”

He moved to side-step but Michael shifted, staying in front of Alex.

“Maybe you just like spontaneous kisses?” Michael’s voice was filled with snark. He grasped the front of Alex’s shirt, the same way Kyle had, then he leaned in to kiss him but Alex leaned back, dodging his affections.

“Guerin! Stop it!” Alex insisted but Michael’s grip was firm, his knuckles practically turning white as they clung to Alex’s shirt.

“Guerin!” Alex shouted in annoyance. “Let me go!”

Alex watched as Michael raised his hand, saw the glimmer of the tiny glowing sphere between his fingers before Michael’s fist connected with his cheek. It was a force unlike any punch he’d ever taken and Alex went down. Sprawled upon the floor, he reached for the nearest box but it was filled with papers and books.

He grabbed the topmost book then turned to hit Michael with it, maybe knock some sense into him but the book flew from Alex’s hand and bounced off the far wall.

“Guerin?”

Michael was towering over him but Alex wasn’t exactly scared, he knew Michael wouldn’t hurt him. The sphere was glowing so he reasoned he just needed to somehow separate Michael from it. Alex looked around for any other item he could use as a weapon.

Michael moved closer, placed one leg on either side of Alex’s body. As they stared into each other’s eyes, the buttons on Alex’s shirt popped open on their own.

He placed his hands on the ground and pushed away, tried to climb to his feet. Alex felt himself being raised into the air until he was floating a few inches above the ground; he couldn’t move at all. The panic was beginning to form in the pit of his stomach.

Michael moved towards him, sliding his hand behind his neck then he pulled Alex into a kiss. Alex didn’t return the sentiment but that didn’t deter Michael.

“Guerin, stop this right now!” Alex hissed.

“You don’t want me anymore?” Even his voice sounded off. Michael _wasn’t_ the jealous type or so Alex thought but something definitely wasn’t right here. “You want _Valenti_? Is that it?”

“Guerin, I’m not going to have this conversation with you, not right now and _not like this_ ! You can’t be angry at Kyle for what _you_ made him do.”

“I didn’t _make_ him do anything!”

Alex was thrown across the room like a helpless rag doll and he landed against the edge of the solid table, hard enough for the wind to be knocked out of him. He grasped the table edge for balance just as Michael’s body pressed against his back.

“You’re _mine,_ Alex.” Michael hissed in his ear. “You will _always_ be mine.”

“Guerin-” Alex argued. “Guerin, let me go!”

Michael’s teeth scraped Alex’s neck and he shuddered before Michael’s teeth sank into his skin; Alex winced but didn’t cry out. He was certain that would leave a bruise. He tried to pull away but his body wouldn’t cooperate.

One of the boxes flew across the room and landed on the table before them. Alex watched as it opened and items began to leap onto the flat surface. They all began to vibrate and glow. He recognized the symbols on some of them.

“You thought I was joking about the alien sex toys, huh?” Michael sneered; his breath hot upon Alex’s skin.

His eyes widened as the items on the table continued to glow like the sphere in Michael’s hand. This wasn’t _Michael_ ; Michael would _never_ physically hurt him. Whatever that sphere was, it was making him do this, act like this.

“Guerin,” Alex hissed as Michael’s fingernails dug into his skin. “ _Michael_ , please?” He whispered. “Please don’t do this!”

“I want to hear you beg for me,” Michael whispered “gonna make you _scream_ my name!”

Tears formed in his eyes but Alex couldn’t move, couldn’t fight, couldn’t escape. Michael continued to touch him, his hand trailing along Alex’s exposed chest which merely caused Alex to shudder. This _wasn’t_ Michael.

He watched as the glowing sphere in Michael’s hand was brought closer to his skin. Alex could feel the heat emitting from it but it didn’t appear to be searing Michael’s flesh.

“You’re _mine_ , Alex” Michael said again as he wrapped his fingers around Alex’s throat. “Say it! Say you’re _mine_!”

Alex clamped his mouth shut as he felt Michael’s fingers tightening. He swallowed back his fear because he wouldn’t admit he was scared… even if Michael did have complete control of him physically, he wouldn’t penetrate his mind. Or could he?

Maybe if he told Michael what he wanted to hear he’d back off?

“Tell me you don’t want _him_!” Michael hissed.

“Guerin...” Alex choked. 

*

Kyle had made it as far as his car; unlocked it and climbed behind the wheel but he hadn’t inserted the key. He hadn’t intended on running away but the last thing he wanted was to see the look of disgust on Alex’s face.

He should’ve known better than to let Guerin into his mind but he really hadn’t expected him to dig that deep, to learn his secret. What were the odds that Guerin would do something like that? He’d obviously expected Kyle to not react but his body had taken over and Alex, with his beautiful lips, had been _right there_!

He took a deep breath as he considered his options. Kyle couldn’t lie his way out of this unless he tried to spin it that he’d acted from pure curiosity… because he had been very curious what it would feel like to kiss Alex, to touch him, to hold him…

Kyle punched the steering wheel but that just resulted in him now having a sore hand. He leaned back in the seat and looked towards the bunker. Neither Alex or Michael had followed him out. Were they inside laughing at him? Should he go back and explain? Was Michael now using his powers on Alex? No, he didn’t really believe that was happening but why didn’t Alex, at least, come looking for him?

He’d overstepped… He knew it. Would Alex forgive him? _How_ was he going to explain himself?

By all accounts, Alex should be _angry._ Kyle was genuinely surprised his friend hadn’t come after him yet even if it was just to yell at him and call him a hypocrite. Not that Alex was likely to do that but surely the man would expect some kind of explanation. Should he just tell him the truth? That after all these months in close proximity, and the threat of aliens over their heads, Kyle’s eyes and mind had been blown wide open and he could see so much more now… but the _one_ constant he could see as plain as day were his feelings for Alex.

He sat in the car, mulling over these thoughts again and again while secretly worried what Michael was likely saying to Alex… Probably reminding him of every awful thing Kyle had ever said and done to him in high school. Yes, he’d been a jerk but Kyle wasn’t that guy anymore. He was trying to make amends, trying to show that he could be the type of person Alex deserves and could make him happy.

Kyle drew a deep breath then slowly exhaled in a bid to calm and collect himself. He could easily go back in there and hold his own against Guerin’s likely remarks; he could look Alex in the eye and explain himself. All he had to do was get out of the car and walk back into the bunker.

His hand was shaking as he reached for the handle then it took him three attempts to open the door. His legs felt like jelly as he stepped out, pushed the door closed and leaned against it. The bunker was mere feet away, a few simple steps. Could he _lie_ his way out of this or should he just confess? Perhaps he could ask for a moment alone with Alex so they could talk without interference from Michael…

Kyle finally moved towards the entrance and slipped inside. The interior door was still open so he didn’t have to knock or make a sound forcing it open. 

Maybe if he had, he would’ve made it in time.

He had been too lost in composing exactly what he wanted to say that he hadn’t noticed what was transpiring in the bunker. He stopped in the doorway and _froze._

The items on the table were glowing so bright they were almost blinding and Alex was being held in the middle of them all, his body bent over the table as Michael held both his arms behind his back. He was trying to break free of Michael’s grasp but the alien was holding him firmly in place despite his protests.

The glowing alien items appeared to glow brighter the more aggressive Michael became. 

Kyle’s entire body was fixed, unable to move from the shock of what he was witnessing. When Michael shifted a fraction, Kyle realized one of the glowing items was somewhere it _really_ shouldn’t have been and he instantly filled with more rage than he’d ever felt before.

He reached into his pocket as he ran towards Michael. Kyle’s one advantage being that Michael was too engrossed in what he was doing to Alex that he didn’t see him coming until it was too late. Kyle jabbed the taser into Michael’s side and turned it to the highest possible setting. The jolt was enough to break whatever had overcome him and Michael slumped to the floor. 

Kyle dropped the taser and turned to catch Alex in his arms before he too collapsed beside Michael. He could see the shock and pain in Alex’s eyes and had to force back tears of his own.

“Alex, are you okay?” Kyle’s voice shook as he spoke. Alex merely nodded his head as he clung to Kyle with one hand and tried to adjust his clothes with the other.

“Alex?” Kyle helped him to the nearby chair and set him upon it. “Alex, _are you okay_?” He asked again.

This time Alex stared at Michael’s prone body as he slowly nodded his head again.

“I don’t… don’t know what happened,” Alex stammered. “What made him… Why he…”

Kyle just let Alex cling to him, unsure what to do with his own hands. He wanted to wrap them around Alex and never let him go but was that really appropriate right now? Alex was still staring at Michael, fear prominent in his eyes. Kyle didn’t like seeing pain and fear in his orbs; Alex had suffered more than enough already.

“Where… Where did you get a taser?” Alex finally asked him.

“Isobel,” Kyle said as though it were the most obvious answer. “I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of carrying a gun but didn’t want to be helpless either,” He winced. “Not that I’m implying you’re helpless or anything I just-”

“It’s okay,” Alex held up a hand to wave him off “I, uh, he definitely took me by surprise... I mean… I never would’ve…”

“Alex,” Kyle reached out and placed his hand on Alex’s cheek, wincing when Alex jerked away from him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I… I think so,” Alex replied, his voice finally returning to normal. He shook his head to clear his mind.

Kyle didn’t want to leave Alex’s side but he had to get the alien devices packed away. He started to step away but Alex reached out and grasped his hand to stop him, stared up at him.

“Kyle,” Alex whispered. “Thank you… Thank you!”

Kyle didn’t know what to say; ‘you’re welcome’ just didn’t sound right. He gently stroked the back of Alex’s palm before releasing his hand. He finally moved away, kicked Michael’s side as he stepped over him then knelt down to pick up the items which had stopped glowing.

“Kyle, don’t!” Alex suddenly hissed. He jumped to his feet and immediately winced. Kyle looked up at him but averted his eyes when he saw Alex struggling to button up his shirt.

“We have to get rid of these things,” Kyle said to him.

“Don’t touch them!” Alex insisted.

“They didn’t affect either of us but they seem to be bad for him,” Kyle nodded at Michael’s body. “So I’ll take them somewhere... else.”

Kyle scooped them up and tossed several into one of the boxes. None reacted to his touch the way they had to Michael so he made certain to pick them all up. He looked around to make sure he hadn’t missed any.

“Can you kick that one over here?” Kyle asked Alex, pointing to the one near Alex’s foot.

Alex’s body began to tremble so Kyle moved closer with the box and reached for it but Alex kicked the device further away. 

“Alex,” Kyle started.

“I’m sorry,” Alex knelt down and picked it up, his face a deep shade of crimson as his hand shook. Kyle reached over and placed his hand upon Alex’s.

“I’m sorry,” Kyle said to him. “I’m sorry I left you alone with him.”

“Kyle-”

“Guess you were right, I am a coward.”

Kyle snatched the device from Alex and shoved it in the box, closing the lid as he turned away.

“Kyle,” Alex started but Kyle merely stepped over Michael as he headed towards the door.

“ _Where are you going_?” Alex’s voice shook with panic.

“Just taking these out to my car,” Kyle explained.

“Wait!”

He stopped, his back still to Alex. He wasn’t sure why; was he trying to give Alex space? Let him try to maintain some dignity? Was he too embarrassed to look at him? Ashamed to face him now the adrenaline had worn off?

“Kyle, don’t leave,” Alex whispered.

His voice cut through Kyle and he placed the box upon the table as he felt tears sting his eyes. If he hadn’t left in the first place, this might not have happened. Maybe he could’ve prevented this… but he’d run away like the coward he was because he’d been _embarrassed_.

“Alex, I’m sorry,” Kyle’s back was still to his friend. If he didn’t look at him, he wouldn’t be reminded of what had happened… wouldn’t think about how much worse it could’ve been had he not come back.

Hands still on the box, he closed his eyes to hold back his tears when he felt a hand on his. He unintentionally jerked away, like Alex when he’d tried to touch his cheek. Kyle turned and finally looked at Alex through his tears.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “Sorry I left you alone with him; sorry I ran out of here instead of admitting the truth; sorry I never told you how I felt; I’m sorry for _a lot_ of things, Alex.”

“But you _did_ come back,” Alex said as he touched Kyle’s hand. “You were here when I needed you and you stopped him from hurting me.”

“But I shouldn’t have run away, shouldn’t have let him get the upper hand.”

“He has powers, Kyle, he’d’ve likely overpowered you too,” Alex lowered his voice “or forced you to watch...”

“What happened, Alex?” Kyle asked. “What made him…”

“That _thing_ started glowing,” he pointed at the box “and he just… started acting all jealous over you kissing me _even though he made you in the first place_ and then he… said I was his and that he was gonna remind me of that or something like that… I wasn’t exactly hanging on his every word.”

“So he was infected?”

“I… I guess. We should wake him up and-”

“Alex! No! We should… I don’t know, call Isobel?”

“We can’t risk _her_ getting infected too, she could melt our brains or something worse.”

“Call Liz? See if she has something to… that powder stuff to block his powers… so he can’t…”

“Kyle,” Alex started “I get that you’re worried-”

“Alex, Guerin _hurt_ you,” he hissed “and I’m not going to let it happen again.”

They stared at each other for a long time.

“We can’t call Liz,” Alex finally said. “We can’t tell anyone about this.”

“What?” Kyle gasped. “Alex, we can’t just ignore-”

“I don’t want _anyone_ to know what he did.”

“You’re going to give him a free pass? Isobel needs to know; what if there are other things out there that can make them do worse things?”

“Worse?” Alex choked.

Kyle immediately felt bad as Alex turned away, clearly trying to hide his tears. He didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t Alex’s fault, he didn’t deserve this… but Michael was under the effects of alien technology. They couldn’t risk Isobel falling victim too and hurting someone else.

“Alex,” he moved towards him and reached for his hand again. Alex’s hand was shaking as he took hold of it. “Alex, we need to tell our friends these devices are dangerous. If you don’t want them to know the full story, we don’t have to tell them.”

“The full story?” Alex met Kyle’s gaze. “You mean the part where you tasered him or when you kissed me.”

Kyle immediately released Alex’s hand and stepped away.

“We, uh, don’t have to admit that either,” he coughed. “We don’t even have to talk about it or anything.”

“Kyle-”

“You’re still in shock too; so, maybe you, uh, just need a time out to think and reflect and-”

“Kyle!” Alex hissed. “Thanks for coming back… _to_ talk about it.

“But, uh, we have more, uh, pressing matters right now.”

Kyle moved over to Michael and kicked him. A moment later, he sat up and looked around furiously in a mix of shock, horror and confusion.

“I… what… no…” Michael stammered as he looked at his hands, the floor, before looking up to see Alex and Kyle standing over him.

“Guerin?” Alex whispered.

“What… What happened?” Michael coughed. “Did you _taser_ me?”

“Yes,” Kyle replied. “I did and just say the word and I’ll do it again.”

“Kyle,” Alex warned him.

“Give me a reason; _please_ give me a reason.”

“Guys, seriously, what happened?” Michael looked up at them.

“You don’t remember?” Alex looked at Kyle.

“N… No.”

“You’re lying,” Kyle kicked him.

“Shove it, Valenti,” Michael snapped.

“Guerin, do you _really_ not remember?” Alex asked very quietly.

There was an eerie unease in the air as both Kyle and Alex stared at Michael. Kyle’s hand was on the taser in his pocket, just itching to use it again.

Michael’s eyes immediately filled with tears and he quickly looked away, stared down at his hands.

“Oh, fuck... I remember,” he whispered. “I… remember...”

His hands began to shake and he balled them into fists.

“I _do_ remember, Alex,” he confessed. “I’m sorry; I don’t know what… what came over me.”

They stared at each other for at least a minute before Michael turned away, seconds later he was dry retching in the corner. Neither of them stepped towards him. Kyle had known the aliens' powers made them sick but he’d never seen Michael react that way. This had to be bad. 

When Michael climbed unsteadily to his feet, he took a step towards Alex but Kyle immediately stepped between them.

“Move, Valenti,” Michael hissed.

“No,” Kyle held his ground.

Michael tried to look around him to Alex but the other man wouldn’t meet his eye.

“Alex, please? I’m sorry,” he pleaded. “I don’t know what happened.”

“I know,” Alex mumbled. “And we might never know.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

Michael stumbled past them to the door and awkwardly climbed out of the bunker.

“Guerin?” Alex called after him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry!” Michael muttered before he disappeared from sight.

Alex collapsed into one of the chairs again, as though just the effort of speaking to Michael had drained all his energy.

“We should go after him?” Alex stated. “Make sure he’s okay...”

“Make sure _he’s_ okay?” Kyle gasped. “Alex, he hurt you.”

“He didn’t mean to.”

Kyle’s heart dropped into his stomach at Alex’s quiet words. He’d been afraid Alex would say that so he sank into the seat next to his.

“No!” Kyle hissed. “Do _not_ make excuses for him.”

“He was infected by something, Kyle,” Alex reasoned.

“Infected or not, he _assaulted_ you, Alex.”

“But he wasn’t trying to hurt me.”

“How can you say that?”

“He wasn’t… He wasn’t himself and he wasn’t… hurting me… whatever that _thing_ was, it wasn’t causing me pain.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.

“I didn’t say it did.”

Kyle gently reached out and placed his hand on Alex’s arm, slowly reached for his hand and held it firmly in his grasp.

“Alex,” he started “I’m so sorry this happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Alex stated. “I’m just glad you came back when you did.”

“I shouldn’t have run off like I did but I was embarrassed.”

Alex’s lips curled into a small smile.

“ _You_ were embarrassed,” he said. “So was I.”

“I never meant… Meant for you to find out…”

“Find out _like that_ or _at all_?”

“Both.”

Alex gently squeezed Kyle’s hand.

“I was just… embarrassed that it was in front of Guerin,” Alex admitted. “I’m not embarrassed or ashamed or offended that you kissed me… just that it led to… _all this.”_

“I’m sorry,” Kyle repeated. “I never should have left you alone with him.”

“Kyle, it was _Michael_. I’ve never been afraid to be alone with him so don’t feel bad you did.”

“But if I’d stayed-”

“Let’s not dwell on that.”

“But-”

“Kyle, just forget about it. Thank you for coming back when you did but just forget the whole thing.”

Kyle bit his lip to hold back what he wanted to say.

“I’m gonna find Isobel and warn her about these things,” Alex said to him. “Can you finish up here?”

“Uh, yeah… but are you sure you want us to split up?”

“Guerin’ll head to the Wild Pony and drink all night… he won’t be an issue.

“And you?”

“Kyle, I’m just going to talk to Isobel, okay?”

Alex didn’t wait for a reply from Kyle. He carefully got to his feet then left the bunker. Probably in a hurry to leave the ‘scene of the crime’. Kyle didn’t protest but he sure as heck wasn’t going to let Alex go through this alone.

***

Telling Isobel was about as awkward as Alex had expected especially since he didn’t want to tell her _exactly_ what had happened, simply that the alien device had effected Michael in a way they hadn’t anticipated. He assured her that he and Kyle would find somewhere safely out of the way to store them until they could discover a way to destroy the dangerous items.

When she asked just how dangerous they were, he couldn’t respond. Alex tried his best and she could tell he was holding back on her but she wasn’t about to ferret in his mind for answers. She and Alex may not be close but she did respect his privacy… maybe she’d get more out of Michael anyway. Alex stayed as long as he could stand before he needed to retreat, to regroup and reassess the situation.

He left without much other explanation but the moment he was back in his car, Alex lost all composure and the tears began to trickle down his cheeks. He sat behind the wheel, sobbing and shaking as he clung to the steering wheel. 

Some time passed before a tapping on the window caused him to stop. Isobel was frowning at him.

Alex lowered the window and affixed a sheepish smile on his face.

“Sorry,” he said to her “it’s been a long day.”

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“Yeah; I just, uh, need to get home and I’ll be fine.”

“Should you be driving?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“Alex-”

“Cataloging all that stuff was tiring and, uh, my leg is seizing up but I’ll be okay once I can settle.”

“I can drive you home or to Michael’s trailer?”

“No! I uh I mean, I think I need my own bed.”

Without another word he put the window up, turned the key and started the car up. He backed down the drive but once on the street, he could see Isobel watching him, her phone in her hand. A part of him hoped she wouldn’t tell Michael about this but another part hoped she’d check in on him. Alex wanted Michael to be okay but he wasn’t okay enough to ask him himself.

He made his way home and through the front door where he was welcomed by Candy, his beagle. She was so happy to see him, tail wagging and excitedly jumping at him. Alex scooped her up then took her into the yard to do her business and stretch her little legs before they both went inside.

Candy followed him to the bedroom where she plonked herself on his bed and just watched him. Alex sat at the foot of the bed, just staring at the carpet, lost in his own thoughts until she moved closer and nuzzled against him.

He needed a shower or a bath or both. Alex made his way to the bathroom and drew a bath but sat on the close toilet lid until it was ready, unable to make himself leave. It took him a while to strip off, remove the limb and immerse himself in the water.

He hadn’t realized how much his body ached until he’d finally stopped moving. He closed his eyes and tried to relax but it all became too much for him and he surrendered to his tears as he slowly sank beneath the water.

****

Kyle knew Alex had to be home because his car was out front. He knocked on the door but received no answer. Fearing Alex was ignoring him, he contemplated walking away and giving Alex time to process but after what else had happened today Kyle knew his friend shouldn’t be alone. 

He knocked again and again in case it took him longer to get to the door but still nothing. Once he heard Candy barking at the door and her claws scratching at the wood, Kyle pulled out his key and unlocked the door. He burst inside and Candy took off, he followed her to the bathroom.

Kyle burst through the door and saw Alex completely submerged below the water. He ran towards him, reached into the tub and pulled him up. His heart was racing as he feared how long he’d been under for. Kyle struggled to lift him from the bath and lie him on the floor, feeling for a pulse.

As a Doctor he knew not to panic as he began to administer mouth to mouth. He pushed aside all thoughts of their lips pressing together as he tried to revive him. When Alex began to spit water from his mouth, coughing and spluttering as he reached for Kyle and clung to him, the Doctor was finally able to breathe again.

“Alex?” He gasped with relief.

“Thank you,” Alex coughed “thank you,”

*

Kyle had little choice but to carry Alex into the bedroom and he placed him on the bed. He was shivering, confused, clutching the towels around his body while Kyle searched his own pockets for his phone which he couldn’t find.

“I think I left my cell in the car,” Kyle finally said. “I should call this in.”

“No!” Alex reached for Kyle’s arm. His shirt was soaked, as was the rest of him “please don’t!”

“Alex, you nearly drowned!”

“It was an accident.”

“Alex-”

“They’ll ask questions,” Alex argued “they’ll run tests and think I tried to off myself because of…”

He didn’t let him finish; Kyle sank down next to Alex and pulled him into his arms. In turn, Alex clung to him as he buried his face in Kyle’s neck.

“I didn’t mean to…” Alex whispered. “Didn’t even know…”

“You were probably exhausted from the shock of it all and your body just started to shut off as soon as you finally stopped,” Kyle said.

“If you hadn’t…”

“Shhhh; don’t say it.”

“But I… I…”

“Alex, today couldn’t have been easy for you… with _everything_ that happened and I’m sorry for the part I played in it all-”

“Kyle,” Alex cut him off as his fingers clawed at the sleeve of Kyle’s shirt “you saved me; _again._ ”

“Don’t… don’t mention it,” Kyle replied. “But please let me take you to the hospital, you might have swallowed a lot more water than-”

“I’m fine, I don’t need a Doctor.”

“ _I’m_ a Doctor and I think you do.”

“Kyle, please? They’ll ask too many questions. What am I supposed to say? My ex-boyfriend made my best friend kiss me then he tried to rape me out of jealousy?”

Kyle paused, contemplating how crazy the story sounded. It wasn’t like they could explain the alien tech that affected Michael’s alien DNA. If they told anyone, Michael could be charged for sexual assault and Kyle knew Alex wouldn’t want that. Hell, Michael could _kill_ someone and Alex would still likely defend the guy.

He reached up and placed his hand over Alex’s, gently trying to pry his fingers free as Alex’s knuckles were turning white from clinging so tightly to Kyle’s arm.

“He hurt you, Alex,” Kyle stated. “And you’re just going to let him get away with it?”

“He… He didn’t… didn’t _hurt_ me,” Alex murmured almost shyly. “I mean… I was…” he paused. “I wasn’t scared but I was surprised because I never imagined he’d ever do something like that.”

“Alex-”

“He didn’t physically hurt me...” he tried to explain. “That _thing;_ that _device_ he used… it didn’t hurt.”

“Alex-”

Listening to him trying to explain the entire thing was heartbreaking but Kyle didn’t know what else to say.

“Look, whether it hurt or not, that’s not the point,” Kyle said. “If I took a gun and shot you but didn’t kill you, does that make it okay to shoot you if you don’t die?”

“Kyle! That’s… not the same thing.”

“Guerin assaulted you.”

“I know.” Alex’s voice was low, gentle, defeated. Kyle manipulated his fingers until they were entwined with Alex’s, holding his hand tightly to maintain a connection with him.

“It’s a lot to process,” Kyle said to him “like, a lot… but if you won’t let me take you to the hospital…”

“I… have a therapist but it’s not like I can tell them any of this.”

“Talk to me, Alex, I can at least listen while you… process.”

“You kissed me,” Alex started at the beginning. “Guerin made you kiss me.”

“He didn’t _make_ me,” Kyle argued. He paused. “Hey… uh…” he trailed off.

Kyle pulled away from Alex, moved across the room to the dresser then threw a shirt and pants to him.

“You should get dressed, don’t wanna catch a cold on top of everything else” he said. “I, uh, I’ll come back”

He turned tail and fled the room, Alex frowned at his retreating form. Kyle had said he’d listen to him then at the first mention of the kiss, he’d run away… again.

Alex dried himself with the pile of towels Kyle had wrapped him in then dressed himself, still surprised he wasn’t in any physical pain after what had happened. When Kyle came back, he had Alex’s crutch.

“I, uh, made you a drink” he said. “Let’s talk somewhere that’s not here.”

“Being in my bedroom makes you uncomfortable?”

Kyle swallowed.

“No,” it wasn’t a lie. “I just want you to be more comfortable so come on.”

Alex used the crutch to navigate to the living room and Kyle helped him get settled on the couch. He then fetched a tea and a coffee, offering both to Alex as he wasn’t sure which he would prefer. 

They sat in silence for some time, just slowly sipping their drinks.

“I’m really sorry you found out the way you did.” Kyle said. “That’s really not how I wanted you to… learn my secret”

“How did you want me to find out?” Alex asked him.

“I didn’t,” Kyle confessed, not looking at Alex. “I, uh, never wanted you to know.”

“Why not?”

He stared down at the liquid in his mug, fixated, as he took a breath to compose himself.

“Because it’s weird,” Kyle stated. “Given our history and the way I treated you… it’s not right for me to have these feelings for you and… and I know you’d never feel the same way I do… how can I possibly compete with a love like you and _him_ have?”

“Have you not been paying attention at all? Guerin walked away and hooked up with my best friend; for weeks we could barely look at each other much less be in the same room together. What we have… had… is long gone,” Alex paused. “After today, I don’t think we’ll ever get back to where we were.”

“You loved him, Alex.”

“A long time ago.”

“For a long time… and it’s always going to be complicated between the two of you.”

“I really don’t believe he wanted to hurt me today,” Alex stated. He finally looked at Kyle who was still staring intently at his drink. “If that device hadn’t activated… He never would have…” he paused. “He’s not _that guy._ ”

“Alex-”

“I could’ve taken him, you know, if he didn’t have those powers.”

“Yeah, you could have…” Kyle pursed his lips, almost into a smirk “trust _him_ to cheat.”

“I, uh, wish we knew more about that device. What it’s designed to do, how it affected him, made him do what he did.”

“You’re not going anywhere near that thing ever again.”

“Kyle-”

“I swear, I’ll bury it in the desert if I have to.”

Their eyes finally met and a small smile was exchanged.

“I wish I’d protected you, Alex,” Kyle stated as his hand curled into a fist. “I wish I hadn’t run off like that and left you alone with him.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kyle.”

“Kinda feels like it was.”

Alex slowly reached for his hand.

“You came back,” Alex said “right when I needed you.”

He carefully eased the tension from Kyle’s hand so he was no longer clenching. Their fingers slowly entwined, both stared at their locked fingers. 

“I ran away,” he repeated. “You were right about me all along… I am a coward.”

“Kyle-”

“I told you it wasn’t a good idea. If he’d tried his powers on you once he was infected,” Kyle blinked back tears. “I keep imagining what he’d make you do.”

“He couldn’t,” Alex squeezed his hand again. “He couldn’t _make me_ do anything I didn’t want to do.”

“If he’d asked you to kiss him? To… give in to him...”

“You think I’m _that_ weak?”

“I think you love him, deep down, and a part of you will always… always want to give him what he wants.”

Alex closed his eyes, drew a breath.

“He tried,” he whispered.

“What?” Kyle gasped.

“He tried to influence me to stop fighting him but of course I was going to fight… loving him or not, I’d never, ever, want to be with someone like _that..._ under those circumstances...”

The sound of Kyle’s phone on vibrate caused them both to pause, to separate. He reached into his pocket while muttering that he’d fetched it from the car while Alex had gotten dressed. Kyle looked at the caller ID and paused but turned the phone for Alex to see the screen.

“I’m surprised he has your number,” Alex stated, his voice flat with no emotion. Kyle put the phone down, letting it ring out.

“Trying times, I guess,” he paused. “No, he called me once… after Caulfield…”

“He did?”

“Like a week after… just once…”

“To… ask about his mother?”

“Nah, he asked about you.”

“Me?”

“I think he was drunk and, in hindsight, obviously missing Max but he just… he asked if you were okay,” Kyle paused. “Guess he’s checking on you again now.”

The phone stopped; they both continued to stare at it, unmoving upon the table. The message ‘missed call’ flashed upon the screen before going dark.

“I don’t know what to do,” Kyle said. “I don’t know what to say to you or… or how to help… or…”

“You don’t have to say or do anything,” Alex looked up but Kyle was still staring at the phone. 

“I can’t protect you from him,” he whispered.

“Kyle-”

Alex shifted his position, made sure their drinks were a safe distance away on the table then he turned and placed both hands upon Kyle’s shoulders, urging him to look at him.

“You don’t _have_ to protect me,” Alex assured him. “Not from him or from anyone.”

“You nearly _drowned_.” Kyle hissed. “If I hadn’t… this whole thing was just a disaster and you kept getting hurt. I shouldn’t have let him goad me, use me, humiliate me.”

“I didn’t realize kissing me is so humiliating,” Alex softly whispered.

“I told you, I never wanted you to know and I would never have kissed you in front of him,” Kyle said.

Alex grasped the front of Kyle’s shirt and pulled him closer until their lips were almost touching.

“And now?” He whispered. “Are you embarrassed to kiss me now?”

“No,” Kyle’s voice shook as he looked into Alex’s eyes. His entire body was trembling as Alex’s breath tickled his skin. “Not…. embarrassed.”

“Scared?”

“Terrified,” Kyle subconsciously licked his dry lips.

“On the count of three, I _am_ going to kiss you, just once,” Alex said to him “unless you tell me not to or you move away; okay?”

_‘Okay_?’ Kyle’s brain was screaming and his heart was racing as he tried to compose himself. Alex counted ‘one’ then ‘two’ but before he could say ‘three’, Kyle took the lead and closed the space between them only to have his phone on the table begin to vibrate again.

They both paused, turned to look at the name on the screen. Alex sighed.

“I should talk to him,” he said. Kyle’s stomach flopped.

“What? No!” He hissed.

“He might do something stupid.”

“He already _did_.”

“If he calls again, answer it. Please?”

“It’s still ringing, I can-”

“No, if he calls _again._ ”

Kyle retracted his hand and they both watched the screen flash until it stopped.

“Are you _really_ okay?” He asked him again. “You can tell me, I’m a Doctor.”

Alex cracked a small smile at Kyle’s attempted joke.

“I’ve had _a lot_ of practice at… compartmentalizing,” Alex admitted. “So… Maybe… Probably… I don’t really _know_. This isn’t something I’ve ever had to work through before.”

“Alex”

“He had an unfair advantage because of his powers but, deep down, he wasn’t trying to hurt me.”

“For once, you mean?”

“Kyle.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyle lowered his eyes. “It just… it’s hard for me to see you hurting,” he paused, hesitated. “I think you’re still in shock.”

“Kyle-”

“You just tried to kiss me… you were going to ‘on the count of three’. You’re not… _you_ right now,” he closed his eyes, his heart breaking as he spoke. “I don’t want to be your rebound.”

“Kyle?”

He knew his words hurt, couldn’t bring himself to look at the pain in Alex’s eyes as he got to his feet and took a step but before he could get far enough away, Alex reached for him and grabbed his hand to stop him from leaving.

“You saved me twice in one day,” Alex stated. “From being assaulted and from drowning to death. I may not be at my best or my strongest but I’m not vulnerable either. You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a friend, a best friend, in years and I would never use you like that. You could never be a rebound for me, Kyle.”

“Rebound or not, you are not in the right headspace to be making relationship decisions right now.”

“Maybe not,” Alex agreed. “But I don’t want to be alone right now either.”

They each looked at the other, Alex’s hand still firmly gripped upon Kyle’s. He could see the tears clinging to Alex’s lashes and he wanted to kiss them away. Kyle _hated_ that that’s all he could think about right now but Alex needed him, was silently begging for him to stay.

He was his friend; he _could_ push aside all selfish thoughts and focus on Alex. He could give Alex exactly what he needed; a friend. After all, it was friendship that had held them together all these months. Alex had had no idea of Kyle’s shift of feelings and he’d come to him for advice, a shoulder, even the occasional hug. If Alex needed him as a friend right now, that’s what he would be.

Kyle took one step back towards Alex. With a trembling hand he reached over and gently brushed the tears from his face.

“I’m here,” Kyle whispered. “I’m not going anywhere. What do you need?”

“To… not be alone,” Alex replied.

Kyle nodded in understanding then sank down onto the couch beside Alex. He instinctively wrapped his arm around his friend and Alex immediately nuzzled into him, welcoming the friendly gesture. They sat in silence for several minutes before Kyle realized Alex was very quietly sobbing.

Once again he didn’t know what to say but internally he was happy that Alex was comfortable enough to let go in front of him. Alex always tried to maintain the soldier bravado but he was human, he was sensitive and his heart was a million times bigger than everyone else’s. He just tried to keep it contained inside a metal box and only those he trusted were given the key to the box.

Unable to think of what to say, Kyle simply shifted his body so he could slide his other arm around Alex. He pulled him into his embrace and allowed him to bury his face in his chest. He could feel Alex’s body trembling in his arms but he just held him and let him get it all out.

When his phone began to ring, he tightened his embrace and lied through his teeth. He said the caller was Liz and that he’d call her back later. Alex didn’t question him, didn’t try to sneak a peek at the caller ID but Kyle knew now wasn’t the time for Alex to be talking to Michael.

Alex eventually nodded off from exhaustion and Kyle carefully carried him to bed; Candy followed closely at his heels. It felt weirdly intimate even though this was the second time today Kyle had done it. He placed Alex upon his bed, watched as Candy leapt up beside him, watching over Alex herself. He left the bedroom door open incase he awoke and called for him or if she wanted to leave then he returned to the living room. 

Kyle picked up his phone, stared at the ‘missed call’ messages while his finger hovered over the button. He didn’t want to talk to Michael but felt he had to. Kyle was genuinely surprised the guy hadn’t already shown up on Alex’s doorstep. He drew a deep breath to psych himself up before pressing the button.

His heart raced as he listened to the sound of the phone ringing. He counted one then two rings before it stopped but was greeted with silence.

“Guerin?” Kyle said. “Michael, are you there?”

“Yeah,” his voice was coarse. Had he been drinking? “Are you… Is he…?”

He couldn’t voice any of the questions he wanted to ask. Kyle _almost_ felt bad for him.

“He’s asleep,” Kyle cut straight to it. “I’m at his place now; Candy’s watching over him”

“Good,” Michael practically choked on the word. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“Really sorry… I don’t… I wish…”

“Yeah, I know.”

They both fell silent. Kyle stared at the framed photos on the wall.

“Does he… hate me?” Michael whispered.

“I wish…” Kyle sighed. “But I... I don’t think so”

“Will you stay? He shouldn’t be alone.”

Kyle thought for a beat. He had no intention of leaving him right now but did Alex want him around? If he were to leave, would Michael show up?

“I’ll stay,” Kyle assured him.

“Kyle? Thanks for… stopping me.”

“I didn’t do it for you.”

“I know.”

“I did it for him.”

“Yeah.”

“I love him, Guerin.”

He heard the loud sigh even over the phone.

“How could you not?” Michael whispered. “He deserves to be loved.”

“I’ll take care of him; I promise.”

The line went dead. Kyle wasn’t sure if the phone had died or Michael had just hung up. He took their mugs into the kitchen and placed them in the sink. His stomach growled but he wasn’t in the mood for food so Kyle headed to the bedroom.

Candy was fast asleep but Alex was wide awake already. It had been maybe ten minutes since Kyle had brought him to bed. He was aimlessly curling the corner of the pillowcase around his fingers. Alex looked up and saw Kyle hesitating in the doorway.

“You’re still here,” Alex mumbled softly.

“I almost lost you today; I’m not going anywhere tonight,” Kyle stated as he folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe. “So I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”

“No; don’t… the couch isn’t that comfortable.”

“I’ll risk it.”

“Stay here,” Alex reached over and petted the space beside him on the bed. “I… I’ll feel safer having you close by.”

“I don’t want to overstep.”

“You’re not; I _want_ you to stay; to stay here with me… Unless you don’t-”

“Alex, I want to stay but… I also want you to have your space and your, you know, privacy and-”

_“I don’t want to be alone_.”

They both paused and looked at each other. He didn’t know what else to say so he blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“I talked to Guerin,” Kyle stated, wanting to be honest with Alex who simply nodded; his eyes not meeting Kyle’s. “He just wanted to be sure you were okay.”

Alex merely nodded his head again.

“I think he’d been drinking.”

“That uh makes sense… I guess… Uh I um… might try to call… text him tomorrow.”

“He, uh, he’ll um appreciate that,” he was tempted to add that it was more than he deserved but he didn’t think Alex needed to hear that.

“This wasn’t his fault, Kyle.”

“I don’t like that he hurt you.”

“Well, neither do I but we can’t change that, can’t undo what happened.”

They were just going round in circles, repeating the same conversation.  
Kyle remained standing awkwardly by the bed, looking at Alex who finally looked and gazed upon him, waiting for him to finally _move_. Alex shifted ever so slightly on the bed, giving Kyle more room than he would need; Kyle slowly kicked off his shoes and nervously climbed onto the bed. Alex didn’t move closer, Kyle didn’t reach for him though he really wanted to. He simply rested his head on the pillow as Alex turned the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. His heart was pounding as he stared into the darkened room, tried to focus on keeping his breathing even.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve shared a bed,” Kyle tried to change the conversation.

“Without you kicking me out of it you mean,” Alex added. 

“Not my fault you were a kicker.”

They both chuckled somewhat nervously. 

“Who would’ve thought we’d ever be doing it again, huh?” Alex whispered.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances…”

“Shhhh.”

Alex slowly reached across the bed for Kyle’s hand.

“I don’t want this to be the last time either,” he added.

“Last time?” Kyle repeated.

“You and me in a bed.”

Kyle reached over and pulled Alex to him, his arm curled around him, holding him close. He half expected Alex to tense up or pull away and he was ready to let him go if he tried.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he assured him. “But there’s no hurry to… put any type of label or term to whatever _this_ is. Right now, it’ll be one day at a time for both of us.”

“This isn’t shock or adrenaline or-”

“I know; it’s okay… I’m here and I’m not leaving you. I promise.”

Alex buried his face in the crook of Kyle’s neck.

“My hero,” he whispered. “I’ve always wanted one of those.”

“Next time I’ll be sure to ride in on a white horse.”

Alex gently laughed and for the first time Kyle smiled. _He’d_ made Alex laugh; his heart fluttered. Kyle raised his hand, his fingers gently stroking Alex’s hair.

They both hoped there wouldn’t be a next time but they also knew if it happened, they would each be there for the other. No matter what.


End file.
